“The vision comes and goes, mostly goes, but I live for it, for the moment when the mountains open and a new light roars in spate through the crack, and the mountains slam.” - Annie Dillard |
It
is incredible how life can be at once so ordinary and so rich. Today was an
ordinary day, and I’m not sure I would have truly noticed the mountains or the
cracks in the pavement or just how beautiful the students and grass and buildings
are had I not looked. Most of the time, I’m just as good as colorblind because I’m
so accustomed to how beautiful my world is that I no longer see it.
“Prelude”
by Muse begins with the same tolling piano note. It is small, repetitive. And
so I begin with a small crack in the pavement. The photograph is gray; there
isn’t much to it. Added strings and piano chords build on that initial tolling
note, but they are the same chords and riffs in a pattern – the music is
still calm and plodding. With my photographs, I too build just a little, in
height and even a bit of color. You can see a shoe near the crack in the
pavement, then a couple of people, then a crowd. It is an ordinary day. I have
not yet looked deeply. Then the scale ascends and crescendos, and you see a
golden staircase that winds upwards from the cool-colored floor into the bright
blue and light above, until the music bursts into a high and glorious choral
note, and my photographs have found the ceiling, the sky, and color. They are
oversaturated, expansive like the music, capturing mountains and tall towers as
the bright afternoon becomes a colorful evening then a glowing, surreal night. Blissful
strings sing downward scales, intertwining with one another, winding down just
as the sun slowly fades in my photographs, until a final tense note reaches
upwards and abruptly ends. My final photograph is of the highest thing I could
see: The moon, but it is not represented the way a person would see the moon on
an ordinary day. Its light was too bright for my camera, and so it nests blurrily
and beautifully in the oversaturated night sky. Slowly, my camera has helped me
see the mountains and trees and people as bright and beautiful and glorious. It
is as if, as Annie Dillard did, “I blurred my eyes and gazed toward the brim of
my hat and saw a new world,” (108) that indistinct yet magical and pure way of
seeing, the way the child with new sight saw “the tree with the lights in it,”
where light pierces the soul (109). Yet it is fitting that the final note of “Prelude”
is high and tense, because, as Annie Dillard remarks, we cannot always “try to
see this way…[we’ll] go mad” (108).
And
so the song ends, my photographs are finished, the day draws to a close. And as
I walk back home, the moon is just the moon and the night is ordinary again,
but in my heart that little piece of magic, captured for a moment, lives on.
Quotes
from Annie Dillard’s essay, “Seeing,” published in “Seeing and Writing 4”
complied by Donald and Christine McQuade.
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